WASHU DYNASTY PRESENTS:
"THIEVERY"
A True Story in 6 Panels • All quotes 100% real, pulled straight from the group chat
SEPT 2023 — THE "BREECE HALL HEIST"
TRADE ACCEPTED ✅
Garrett receives
Amari Cooper
Chris Godwin🎟️Draft picks
Ben receives
Breece HallNeal Mintz · 9/21/23Commissioner you should veto, ben now has puka and Breece we are f***ed
THIEVERY!!
RIPOFF!
Kevin KanterVeto
Zach TrunskyExecutive veto
The league, upon seeing Ben make a trade.
HOW THE "HEIST" WENT
🏆 LEAGUE CHAMPION 🏆
BEN'S "LOOT"
🩻 RADIOLOGY REPORT
PATIENT: B. HALL
FINDINGS: leg = broken 🦴
FANTASY VALUE: 📉📉📉
PATIENT: B. HALL
FINDINGS: leg = broken 🦴
FANTASY VALUE: 📉📉📉
So... who robbed who?
Garrett got the ring. Ben got an injury report.
JAN 2025 — THE JA'MARR CHASE TRADE
FAIR TRADE
Ben receives
Ja'Marr Chase
Terry McLaurinTronsky receives
Rome Odunze
Trey McBride🎟️2026 Mid 1st
David A · 1/20/25sooooooo when is that chase trade getting vetoed...?
RAW KTC VALUE:
TRONSKY +3,355
TRONSKY +3,355
PLOT TWIST:
Tronsky flipsTrey McBride➜
Jaxon Smith-Njigba
TRONSKY WINS THE TRADE 🏆
Trey McBride➜Jaxon Smith-Njigba
TRONSKY WINS THE TRADE 🏆
Two men. One fair trade. Zero peace. (Ben loses again.)
The WashU Shopper
Vol. LXIX"The league's most trusted source for veto news"Price: 1 future 4th
Old Men Yell at Cloud
ANY TRADEBEN MAKES
VETO INCOMING!
UNANIMOUS VETO!
SHUT DOWN THE LEAGUE!
ST. LOUIS — Local men took to the group chat again this week to demand an immediate veto of a trade that KeepTradeCut graded as fair, and that actually favored Tronsky in raw value. "Veto incoming," said Kevin Kanter (6/17/25). Witnesses described the scene as "monkeys at a peanut stand." Asked to explain what was unfair about the deal, the men only shook their fists harder. Garrett Cohen, holding a championship trophy Ben handed him, filed a motion for a "veto jury." The cloud declined to comment.
MEANWHILE, ACROSS THE LEAGUE...
🍾🥃🍷🍺🥃🍾
TRADE ACCEPTED ✅
Andy O receives
Zay Flowers
Derrick HenryRap receives
🎟️A future 4th
(year TBD)
(year TBD)
🦗 . . . 🦗
(the league's reaction)
(the league's reaction)
VETOES FILED: 0
deal 🤝🍺
wow thanks Andy!
*sip*
Chad saw everything. Chad said nothing.
2026 — BEN SEEING YOVICH WANTING TO TRADE
hey Yovich… u open to a totally fair trade? 🤲
...maybe?
MEANWHILE, IN THE BUSHES:
Torches lit. Trade not even sent yet.
🧾 THE RECEIPTS
| Veto demands against Ben's trades | TOO MANY TO COUNT |
| Championships Ben gifted to Garrett | 1 |
| Breece Hall legs broken | 1 |
| Raw KTC value edge in the "rigged" Chase trade | TRONSKY +3,355 |
| Trey McBrides Tronsky flipped into JSN | 1 |
| Veto demands against Andy fleecing Rap | 0 |
| Beers Chad finished | 🍺🍺🍺 |